past

I have on question. In this great world we live in with all its technical wonders why do people still lie. I mean you can change a photo but you do eventually have to meet that person. I just shake my head (SMH).
You know what I miss when you actually had to talk to a guy on the phone. When you meet him and he gives you his number on a piece of paper. Remember you get home and wait till around 930 to call. You call him and when 10 hits his voice gets real deep and sexy. What happened to that. I'd rather that then txting and there is no emotion just cold words over a machine and a smiley face. I guess that's what we have to give up when we move forward then I would rather stay in the past.facbook.com

I'm a grown up

Its amazing how time  really can fly. We really do take things for granted in the fact where one day you realize wow am I an adult. I have no regrets but I miss being a kid. When all you had to worry about were the simple things. My parents forgot to mention the parts about adult hood you might not like. For example bills, annoying people and neighbors you can not stand. 
Well I am grown up now and those things came to past but you know I am glad I got to have a child hood with great experiences. Having good friends that have been there for all the important moments. Being an adult ain't so bad. I am thankful for my family and my daughter. These years I have been on this earth have been interesting and I am pretty sure there is still more to come. I am ready and waiting 

Proluge

     Prince Gerrad  Soun. Who is he but a real prince. He is the crown prince of Chon Buri. He stands at a stature of 5'10. His midnight black hair falls just below his shoulders. The beautiful color of his skin is a golden bronze. A smile that could melt any woman to her core. Eyes the color of a soft brown jewl with a hint of green in them. With just one look youe felt as though he could see your soul and even your most intimate thoughts. With every stride he moves with the grace and eloquence of feral cat. You could feel his sexual prowess in his aura. Wow could he be any hotter.


     Now enter the normal all around girl that every one knows and puts in the friend corner. You know the girl that people say is always there to back you up. Cute enough to date and be seen in public but not able to pull the hot factor off. Yup that was me Alexandra Holmes. I am on scholarship here in Canter berry.  One of the most prestigious school in Europe right now. My family was all to glad that I got accepted. Its bad enough that I am not a native to Wales where the school is but I am an american intruding on their soil. Not only being the smart girl I am the foreigner that is blaspheming Holy Canter Berry with my mere presence. That was only the first day  
  

Funny

It seems that every one is getting married but me. What is a girl to do. Even the most unlikeliest person or people in the world are getting married. Now I am convinced that there has to be  something wrong with me but what is it. Is it because I give into lust or is it because giving my all to some one is a dangerous idea. Here is the thing I am a big romantic but I am afraid of romance. Did you ever here something so ironic. A romantic afraid to be romanced. The problem I'm not afraid of romance does any one know how to be romantic any more. Its all about the instant gratification. The now and lets not deal with later attitude I can not take.

I want to go back when a man was not ashamed to be a man and a gentle man. Its not that women want the bad boy. We want the fighter that will fight for his woman and family. Bad boys know how to fight for what they want that's the attitude that we want not the other BS that they do. Where are all the real men at these days. Who told these busters that they had swagg. Yes I said swagg.

You know what swagg is. Swagg is having natural confidence in one self. Having the ability to stands up  for what he believes in. Standing by his decisions and when the chips fall he knows what to do. Has intelligence and if need be knows when he has to have a ignorant moment. Where is he

He might just only live in my dreams. WHAT  A SHAME

My vacation time is over

I think I know why I liked just being alone in my house with no one here. Just me and the dogs. No one bothered me for any thing like can you bring me this or did you get that. Do not get me wrong I missed my family while they were away but I did not miss the constant chatting about what was not done.

I feel bad but do not regret that I had fun in complete and utter silence. Now the silence and relaxing time is over. Back to being a Mother and a Daughter. Yeah can you feel my enjoyment.

Your second chance part II

Where did I leave off. The kiss. Still a virgin and I wanted him to be my first. All he had to do was say "I want you" and I would have gladly went with him anywhere. All that from a kiss. After the kiss I got to go to his house and see him in his natural element. The funny thing was that the way he was to the world at school was so different when he was home. 

 

The strange jock that made people uncomfortable when he was around in school was not there. I always knew there was more to him. He could never scare me with his heavy metal  bands and his fascination with Gothic things. He actually thought growling at me or making strange sounds would keep me away. It only fueled my curiosity. To be near him to find out the real creature he is. Going to his house opened my eyes and made me fall in love with him even more. We both enjoyed the same things and each others company. Making him smile always put a extra beat in my heart. 

If he only knew. My cowardice kept me from telling him the truth. I was not ready to be rejected by the person that I held dear to me. So instead I observed him from a far, like a cat in the wild. My Prince charming was just beyond my grasp. Close but so far. I wanted to be the one that made his eyes sparkle with such love and enthusiasm he had for her. They eventually got together. It hurt me. I truly knew the saying "It felt like my heart was ripped out." Then it happened she broke his heart. Mine ached for his and his anguish, torment, and pain made me work hard to make him move on from his broken heart. I did not sleep with him. I was the friend that consoled him. Telling him that she did not deserve the love that was given freely with no malice or discontent. The friend.

We all hate the friend zone and I was in it. Pissed as all hell but still waiting for the Prince to notice the woman that loved him How long do I have to wait for you Prince. Till the end of time. I found him again. My second chance has come. This time I will not hold my tongue. Wish me luck  world 

Your second chance

Did you ever get a second chance to start a old friendship or get to make a right decision the second time around. I met him in 1995 in the  place where every coming of age story begins high school. You know the guy that you had a crush on that you always wanted to say something to but never had the guts or courage to. Every girl had this. The jock that passed in the hall way with that captivated smile that make the cheerleaders go crazy

How about your best friend that just so happens to be the rumored play boy. Well I had one of those. He was a close friend. He would talk to me about anything.The funny thing at the time he never could see what I saw in him. His compassion, his charm, his sexiness, his engaging eyes. Told you I had it bad. But there was a catch (here it comes) he is in fact in love with your friend. I mean really in love. Of course the classic 80's or even now scenario. You like him but he likes her. He would talk to me about her all the time. How can he make her notice him or get her to become his girlfriend.

I hated every minute that I got to be with him and he would rather talk about her then pay attention to the girl that would give him all the love and attention that he deserves. My typical day with him would start out with all three of us in the same class and when she had to go to class me and him would go cut together and stay in the auditorium. The sad part is that I would still try to be near him. Even though I knew I did not have a chance and all he wanted was her I was there. I wanted to still be his friend even if he wanted some one else.

I am such a gluten for punishment. LOL. The one thing I did not like about myself is how I could put my friends happiness before mine. Yeah what a self lessI am. The way he would light up when he spoke about her or even thought about her made me feel like shit pardon my french. Who am I to stop his want for the women "he loves". Yes I put quotes in there.

Flash to 1997 its the last year before graduation is about to happen. By this time she knows about how he feels and decides to come to me to inform me about his feelings. Here I am in the perfect situation. He professes his love to her and she can't handle it. How do I know you ask because she tells me. She is not ready for that kind of feeling due to the fact she can not reciprocate.

Oh she likes him, but that's it just likes him There is nothing wrong with that but his feelings are way more serious then hers. Still I am in the middle trying to bring these two people together because I want every one to be happy. Man I'm stupid.

This one day it happens the day where I got a kiss. My first sexual encounter with him. It was amazing. He looked at me with a voice of a sex god he asks me can he kiss me. With out hesitation I whimper with an ok. My head was whirling I actually saw stars. He made my entire body tingle. That kiss went threw my body like electricity. It was wonderful.

Wow its late will pick it up tomorrow

Family Guy

I have to say that family guy is our all in the family. Peter Griffin is the Archie Bunker. I mean the show is funny entertaining and gut busting. It holds truths to it that in the world e live in is to scared to say and admit to their fear and anxiety. My favorite character is Peter. Even though he is an idiot and has no common sense he still manages to show you truth